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Alleged Yoga Mat Causes White House Lockdown

in YD News

Add this to the “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up” file. When you hear news out of The White House referred to as the “yoga mat incident,” well, you just don’t know what to expect. Unfortunately, it did not involve anyone from the WH getting themselves twisted into compromising positions (they don’t need any help with that!).

As it goes, a security scare on Monday forced The White House into lockdown mode. Apparently, someone hurled a couple of items over The White House fence—one assumed to be a white yoga mat—prompting the Secret Service to take action and clear the area of any possible shred of the devil’s yoga! Kidding. Sadly (?) it actually had nothing to do with yoga, yet it shall be known as the “yoga mat incident” for all eternity. In fact, it wasn’t a yoga mat at all, but later confirmed to be a notebook and a sign. A sign of what? The apocalypse?

Also, what yoga mats do you know to resemble a notebook? And who uses a white yoga mat? Anyway…

We can all rest easy. The perps have since been arrested and the items “deemed nonhazardous.” And so “peace” (our emphasis) has been restored. Had it been an actual yoga mat, who knows what chaos would’ve ensued.

Note: No yoga mats were harmed in the throwing of non-yoga mats.

Moral: Don’t throw a yoga mat (or anything else) at the White House, no matter how much you wish they might take up the practice.

PS. Do they sell yoga mats with The Constitution on them? Asking for a friend.

image: matsmatsmats.com


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