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Meditation(TM) Becomes Sales Pitch For Better Living In 2017

in YD News, YogaHaha

meditation-tmIf you find yourself bidding “good riddance!” to 2016 and clinging to the positive notion that 2017 will be better (or desperately hoping it will be) we have just the thing for you. It even sounds nice. NPR is once again running their Ads for Nicer Living project and they’re looking for your ad pitches for a brighter future.

It goes like this, you submit your “ad” for whatever non-commercial thing makes your life better (yes, the irony!). There’s no prize, per se, but five winners will get their “commercial” recorded, produced and distributed as if it were a real ad. NPR first tried this in 1972, before the age of the internets, so you don’t need any special skills, just a typing machine and a dream. As the the submission page states: “All you need is up to 120 words of text; we’ll handle the rest.”

It’s a sweet way to start the year and think about the things that make our lives better and our days brighter like a smile from a stranger or a joke when you’re in a bad mood. NPR have shared a few of their submissions so far and there are already some good ones for “stuff” like gratitude and self-acceptance and meditation…sorry, that’s MEDITATION™.

Want to submit your ad? You have until January 15th. Submit yours here. And for fun, you can hear examples of the ads from the ’70s at n.pr/nicerads.

Two of our faves (from this year) are below.

From Rain Marie I. Davis in East Stroudsburg, Pa:

Are you tired of being stressed? Do you wish you could achieve some form of inner peace? Well, you can — with the new revolutionary product MEDITATION™.

MEDITATION™ is an easy affordable means of relaxation. MEDITATION™ will ease your stress, bring you peace, and improve your health; improving your quality of life and extending your lifespan. All that for the affordable price of zero dollars. That’s right — all this for free.

To use MEDITATION™ all you need in a relaxing location and YOURSELF™. (YOURSELF™ is not included in the purchase and takes at least nine months for delivery and 18 years to reach maturity).

In your relaxing location assume a comfortable meditation posture and clear your mind, focus on a positive feeling and voila — MEDITATION™ is already improving your quality of life.

Just call 1-800-notarealnumber and order MEDITATION™ today! Also look into a YOURSELF™ package for a future love one … give them the gift of life!

From Antonia Yost of Lincoln, Neb.:

Feeling adrift in a sea of assholes? Think you’re the only person in the world with any sense?

Try self-awareness!

Self-awareness may cause you to look at life in a larger context and understand that your words and deeds influence those around you! It’s the sure-fire path to being less annoying to the people you love and to finally maturing emotionally past a sixth grade level.

Self-awareness may also result in emergence from some of life’s larger existential quandaries. Side affects may include an increased sense of humor and drastic increase in your enjoyment of life.

If you suffer from being an asshole, use self-awareness with caution, as it may result in a long, hard look at the terrible, terrible life you have led.

Self-awareness: Improving society, through improving yourself!

FREE! With ZERO side effects!

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