When opera singer Renee Fleming opens her Vishuddha chakra to pour forth the melodious sounds of our nation’s anthem, we suspect all of you will be sitting in a comfortable seat with your mats, props and yoga faces on. It’s Super Bowl Sunday! And you know what that means…ok, besides lots of yummy food, beer, crazy expensive commercials, beer, Puppy Bowls, Kitten Bowls, beer, oh, and football, it also means it’s time for the Official Super Bowl Yoga Game! (for yogadorks of all ages).
BOTH the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos practice yoga so this should be an interesting one.
What you’ll need: yoga mat, props (if you’ve got them), a sense of humor, and every last piece of team paraphernalia you can muster (face paint helps but is not necessary and will not determine whether or not your favorite team will win).
Are you ready for some YOGA?
- Pre-game – don your good luck duds and prepare your space with the proper mood of victory, yet detachment from any results.
- Coin toss – Sit in Sukhasana and cross your fingers, toes and eyes and set an “intention” for your favorite team. Do 10 rounds alternate nostril breathing (because we want to start off fair to both sides).
- Kick-off - Do 5 sun salutations to warm up – it’s an outdoor game!
- Seahawks score first - Do crow pose (or other appropriate bird pose).
- Broncos score first – Donkey kicks? Followed by the unlikely horse pose.
- If it’s QB Peyton Manning – 3 Ommmahas.
- If Seahawks QB Russell Wilson looks like this at any point during the game, it’s game over. You win. Enjoy the rest of your night from the couch.
- Take a tree pose every time the announcer talks about the weather.
- Every camera shot of Eli Manning in the stands – take a shot of Kombucha.
- If a team scores twice in the first half – Do Warrior 2.
- If a team scores three times in the first half- Do Warrior 3.
- Time outs – STOP, Groundhog Pose! Not sure what it is? Do your best impression. Then repeat it over and over and over…
- Half time show – eat as many kale chips as you can while Bruno Mars and Red Hot Chili Peppers perform. Bonus for red hot chili powder.
- Every time you switch to the Puppy Bowl X or the Kitten Bowl take a down dog breather and a few cat/cows, followed by a bowl of water.
- Every Doritos commercial – Triangle pose, naturally.
- E-Trade baby ad – Happy baby! eye rolling, groaning and/or laughing like a child optional.
- For every yoga-related Super Bowl commercial – Three long, deep, sighing exhales.
- Every touchdown in the second half – downward facing dog (we’ll keep it light from this point on cause heaven knows you’re full of…prana? yeah that’s it.)
- Seahawks Richard Sherman speaks his mind - Do 1 minute sitali, cooling breath.
- Any missed field goals – Chant “lokah samastha sukhino bhavantu” for those poor dears.
- Your team wins – dance party!
- Your team loses – dance party! (remember, no attachment to results, right?)
- And Saaaavaasaaanahhhh.