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Buzzfeed Lists ‘Ludicrous’ Yoga Teacher Speak, Is All This Anus Blossoming For Real?

in YogaHaha

We’ve had our gripes over kooky yogaspeak and oddball class cues (“flutter my what?“), but this cheeky Buzzfeed list  of “ludicrous things” said by yoga teachers has a few lines that are pretty hilarious, as well as ridiculous and likely never ever spoken within 15 yards of a yoga mat.

Here are some of our faves. Enjoy!

The ones we’ve heard:


 The classic melted heart.


Dare we say this one is sometimes anatomically helpful?


Yep, and the backs of your buttocks, too!


Ohh, rainbows. All this spiraling is making us dizzy. 


Ah, yes, the old acknowledge and let it go trick. Drooling not allowed!

And now for a few we’ve never ever heard in yoga class (but, hey, they’ve likely been uttered somewhere!)


While it sounds all nice and flowery, do you you really want a room full of anus blossoms?


Wha? My breath is nothing like milk, thanks.


Huh? No. 

Here’s their full list. What do you think?

And don’t forget to check out our Top 10 Yoga Cue Translations.



Top 10 Yoga Cue Translations: Flutter My What?

6 comments… add one
  • charlie

    Are not most of these from the dubious John Friend and his ex merry band ? who presumably are not so merry nowadays .

  • Joe

    Ah buzzfeed, you never disappoint. I think the thigh bone rainbows one is my fave, though I’ve yet to hear it actually used in a class.

  • I’ve been absent for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this website. Thanks, I’ll try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your site?

  • Colleen

    I’ve yet to figure out what “camel toe” refers to. Can anyone enlighten me? Or maybe better to remain blissfully ignorant?

    • James

      I bet you’re smart enough to search Google for “camel toe”.

      Pro tip: don’t use a work computer.

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