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Lululemon Posts Fake CEO Job Wanted Ad to Laughter, Maybe Tears

in Business of Yoga, YD News

lululemon-ceo-wanted

If we didn’t laugh we’d cry.

At least they still have their sense of humor. And they would very much like to remind us of that. Seriously, please, can’t everyone just focus on how fun they are? Either way, the fake job posting for a new CEO is both pretty funny and a little bit sad, mostly because, after the pantstastrophe earlier this year, and the resignation of their CEO last week, a company spokeswoman had to remind the public how Lululemon has “always been a fun and irreverent brand” and is “not afraid to spark a conversation in our communities.”

And it may have been a joke, but people could actually apply online and according to CNN the listing received about 160 applicants who apparently speak fluent Sanskrit and have “genius” “visionary” Chip Wilson, Bill Clinton, Ellen DeGeneres and Oprah Winfrey on speed dial, not to mention are comfortable balancing their work/life with wheatgrass/tequila.

We think it’s only fair then, that they read each and every one of the applications and take them seriously considering most of these poor souls never had a chance and were only part of a joke. No, even better, if they really want to do some fun public relations, how about we get to vote on who wins caption Lululemon! Hey, we had a few suggestions when Chip stepped down last year after the avalanche of controversies. Maybe Stephen Colbert finally applied!

The job is no longer posted, but here is the full listing in case you want to feel crushed about missing out on your dream job of bringing yoga to Mars by 2018. Dammit, Marvin.

lululemon-ceo-job-posting

[Via Racked; MSN]

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2 comments… add one

  • pretty funny and sad, yes; nice post, thanks!

    yoga does need some humor back into it; yogadork’s doing her part, i thank you ;-)

  • Lakshmi

    I totally applied and wrote an uber funny response:

    Founded in 1973 on the culturally creative east side of Milwaukee, ________ designed her own business cards at the tender age of nine, then initiated a sprout farm and rocked yoga classes in middle school. She has perpetuated an ecosystem of creating her own reality ever since. She is a hugger – even after a Bikram yoga session and holds a steadfast gaze on the big picture with her 3rd eye.

    description
    I report to ONE, and am a conduit and cheerleader for conscious change even if its uncomfy in the moment. Devoted to leading by example with compassion, permission to fall, while offering a gentle hand to support every wobble. I’ve been the “head honcho” and had to make the hard decisions on behalf of the greater good, and the funky “should”. I am ridiculously passionate about life, leadership, and manifesting a career that honors balance and conscious action.

    I love to see the light in people when they are sitting on their shadow, find creative ways to empower, and witness the magic of people living their highest good. That’s my fave!

    a day in the life of a chief executive officer
    - I DO communicate powerfully, often through Sanskrit – just ask my tattoo artist or husband when I announce “Hi Honey, I’m OMMMMM”!

    - I am disciplined, focused and CAN hold headstand for at least 10 minutes – even while 9 months pregnant!

    - I am a long-term thinker – I call it “Eagle Vision”!

    - I DO break or bend all of the rules – often with grace and all-ways with the best intentions.

    - I elevate and cultivate the level of talent within the senior leadership team by understanding their vision, skills, passion and weaving it into the master plan. Everyone will get a lotus flower!

    - I will lead the organization to create components for people to live long, healthy and fun lives. I will also make fresh fresh delicious smoothies for all co-creators of the LuLuLemon reality.

    - I will wear the Groove Pants because they make my booty look amazing and share my kombucha SCOBY collection with all who want to get their fermentation on.

    the finer print
    - “I just channeled Ganesha to move through our last P&L”

    - I voted for Green Tara (and Pedro – because of his stellar wig)

    - I have Kool & the Gang on speed dial, for impromptu booty shakin’ parties with Johnny Depp, Tieraona Low Dog, Abraham, and Eckhart Tolle.

    - I actively live and breathe a constantly dynamic creative culture – on Friday afternoons I snip my own wheatgrass and ruminate on some next level sh*t.

    - I use your third eye to channel everything.

    - My lineage is directly related to Pleiades. Seven Sisters all the way!

    - Yoga owns me. I surrender.

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