Surely we’ve all heard enough about the lulu naked truths, but as we like to say, those asking are we still talking about this? are often the folks who ask are we there yet? and can’t hang still in savasana for more than 30 seconds. So quick to move on to our next vritti, we are. Anyway…that said, this will be our last post about it (probably).
In the wake of adventures in under(pants)land, people are trying really hard to get all analytic and philosophical fishing for greater meaning in Lululemon’s see-through yoga pants crisis. And by people we mostly mean the media. And by greater meaning, we mean feckless discoveries. And boy are they digging deep. For instance, this might be our favorite non-revelatory analysis in this whole unintentionally revealing mess, which basically boils down to, Omg women are wearing thongs to yoga? Those porno panties?? The secret’s revealed folks. Cat’s out of the bag. Sisqo’s been singing about yoga all this time.
Via Slate’s XX Factor, columnist Amanda Marcotte responded to a NYMag post about the possible spin Lulu could have put on the situation, one idea being the who cares, let it ride tactic presented by a seasoned yogi named Charlotte Cowles. Charlotte shrugs off the sheerness issue saying we’re already sticking our butts in the air, what’s the big deal? But also points out that thongs showing, not butt cheeks, may be more the problem.
That said, there is the thong issue, which I can understand. The problem with sheer yoga pants isn’t so much that your butt cheeks are visible, but that your thong is. Still, I don’t see why this is a terrible concern, since lots of ladies’ thongs stick out during yoga anyway.
According to Marcotte though, wearing thongs at all is the real issue.
What kind of sexualized hell are these poor women living in that they can’t even give up porn-compliant underwear in order to keep their bodies lean and toned for future thong-wearing situations? I was under the impression that yoga was supposed to be a healthful activity, and yet here women are, contorting their bodies in a strap of fabric made to respond by straining painfully at your most sensitive bits. Yoga is supposed to be relaxing, and not reminiscent of a visit to the proctologist.
Here’s an idea for women who really are this worried about having visible panty lines under your yoga pants: Don’t wear underwear. It’s not like flies or ants are going to get in there if you don’t seal it off tightly.
Seriously. What are we, anyway, Playboy bunnies?? Yes, because thongs exist purely for sexual arousal and women, even yogis (!) are willing to endure crevice discomfort for the satisfaction of male counterparts. Because dancers and Sumo wrestlers haven’t been wearing thongs for ages, and 28% of American women say they prefer thongs as everyday underwear. Good grief on a yoga mat.
Marcotte’s whole no underwear thing is meant to be cheeky, but let’s look at the bigger picture. It’s true, the typical yoga pants you’ll find out there are tight. So tight that it’s hard to cram in your regular old butt-crack sparing underpants without a case of the bunchies. Do your yoga pants have to be tight? Certainly not. Though some teachers in certain styles might argue it’s safer to have more form fitting pants, or even shorts, or in some cases pretty much just underwear so you (and they) can see alignment and also not get caught on fabric.
You don’t have to wear thongs, same as you don’t have to wear tight pants to yoga class. But there’s also no rule that says wearing a thong labels you as some sort of backstreet hussy looking to show off your assets. We think sans-pants nude yogis would also agree.
As for see-through pants, if you’re concerned, do your own bend over test. Or maybe we should take Charlotte’s advice: look inward and mind our own business and our own vulnerabilities.
No, we are not there yet.
- So How Are You Surviving the Lululemon Pantscapade Humiliating ‘Bend Over’ Test?
- The Great Lululemon Yoga Pants Shortage Goes from Sheer to Scandalous
- Lululemon Recalls See-Through Yoga Pants, Causes Shortage, Rioting in the Streets (Probably)
- The Comfort and Sexualization of Yoga Pants
- Kate Beckinsale Schools Chelsea Handler on Yoga and Toxic Lifestyle – Funny Video