Official Super Bowl XLVII Yoga Game!

The day has arrived! Time to let all inhibitions go to gorge on sinful and outrageous football-themed snacks, let your freaky fanatic flag fly and don your most ridiculous outfit you just know is going to be THE thing to make your team win. Or not.

Or you could just enjoy yourself a second traditional American ThankSPORTSgiving by suiting up in your normal attire of yoga pants and a snugly tee to watch puppies play adorably in Puppy Bowl heaven between clicking over to see who’s winning, though you don’t really care, it’s just a dumb tradition anyway and the only ritual you’re interested in is focusing on the rhythm of your breath, or maybe you’ll just have a peek to catch one of those astronomically expensive commercials, those propaganda ads for capitalism pushers inc. that are never really that funny anyway, cause honestly if you wanted some to tell you which mind-altering liquid to imbibe, you’ll ask the cute herbal mixologist the next time you’re at your favorite juice bar.

Oh yeah, the Super Bowl is on! Whether you’re a sports fan or not, you might very well be catching yourself watching the Ravens and 49ers face off along with 100 million other Americans. Need to get off the couch? We invite you to participate in our fun game of Super Bowl Yoga! It’s a little like a drinking game but without alcohol, unless you are drinking, in which case, fair warning, you might want to skip any inversions or arm balances. We’re looking at you there with the NFL coozie.

Super Bowl XLVII Yoga Game

What you’ll need: yoga mat, props if you’ve got them, a sense of humor, and every last piece of team paraphernalia you can muster. (see above photo from Charm City Yoga’s facebook page for help).

• Alicia Keys sings the national anthem – Sit in Sukhasana and cross your fingers, toes and eyes and set an “intention” for your favorite team.
• Coin toss – Do 3 sun salutations and 10 rounds alternate nostril breathing (because we want to start off fair to both sides).
• Ravens score first – Do crow pose (or other appropriate bird pose). Recite Edgar Allen Poe for extra credit/meditation.
• Bridge pose if 49ers score first because their mascot is lame and the San Francisco bridge is cool (sorry SF).
• Ravens #88 Dennis Pitta scores – Do 1 minute kapalabhati, breath of fire.
• Tree pose if SF #15 Michael Crabtree makes a touchdown.
• For every Ray Lewis credited tackle do the Ray Lewis Yoga Dance aka all three warrior poses in your own creative sequence (both sides! Ray Lewis doesn’t skimp)

• Half time show – eat as many kale chips as you can while Beyonce and her yogi rock star lead guitarist are performing.
• Every time you switch to the Puppy Bowl IX take a down dog breather, followed by a bowl of water.
• Every Doritos commercial – Triangle pose, naturally.
• E-Trade baby ad – Happy baby! eye rolling, groaning and/or laughing like a child optional.
• Every touchdown in the second half – downward facing dog (we’ll keep it light from this point on cause lord knows you’re full, of prana, yeah that’s it.)
• Any missed field goals – Chant “lokah samastha sukhino bhavantu” for those poor dears.
• 2 Shots of kombucha if Ravens #96 Kemoeatu sacks 49ers’ quarterback Kaepernick.
• If brother head coaches Jim and John Harbaugh hug after the #harbowl hug the person next to you. Bonus if they’re fans of the losing team and you say namaste with a spirited grin. *belligerence warning.
• Saaaavaasaaanahhhh.

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Earlier…

• Rock Star Yogi Guitarist Bibi McGill to Play Super Bowl Halftime Show with Beyonce
• Russell Brand Opens Home for Yoga ‘Not for the Faint-Hearted’
• Yoga, Therapy Dogs and Recess Help High School Students Cope with Stress and Anxiety
• Super Yoga Bowl XLVII: 49ers vs Ravens
• Duck Dynasty Does Yoga, Or Adventures in Camo Tights