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Missed Yoga Connections: ‘Petite, Very Bendy’ Seeks ‘Tall, Dark and Handsome’

in YD News

Ah, the sweet smell of yoga romance, like armpit sweat, wheatgrass and tea tree oil in a toe jam sauna. Somebody bottle it!

Pratyahara can only go so far when you’re mat to mat. There are some days you just have to sneak a peek at the hotties in the yoga room, right? And who wouldn’t fall in love with “very tall” “lean and muscular” “perhaps glasses”? We bet he has an extra large, um, yoga mat.

We at YD believe in the power of love; romance is not dead! And thanks to the internets we can maybe help these two love crow posers align their chakras off the mat.

We can just see it now…the two reunite in a glorious noon power yoga class where they BOTH master eka pada raja kapotasana at the same time! They decide to grab a green juice after. He likes ginger, she not so much, but that’s ok, she can overlook it. Ginger has good cleansing properties and she likes a man with good digestion. He carries her mat for her, because he’s a gentleman. Not that she can’t carry her own mat, she’s an empowered, independent woman! Just because she’s petite doesn’t mean she doesn’t pack a punch. Still it’s nice to have a handsome man make the offer, right? Her shoulders are so tired anyway, and boy could she really use a massage. A massage from a lean and muscular man who seems interested but is somehow distant and distracted. Did she say something wrong? Is he still in yoga high? Is he high high? Maybe that’s good. She doesn’t like her man to be too uptight. Gotta let loose every once in a while. But isn’t yoga enough? Or maybe he just doesn’t think she’s cute enough. Damn it, if only she wore her sexy red top, the one where boob sweat gets wicked away just perfectly to make her cleavage look awe-some. Screw that, a man should like her for her fun and bubbly personality! And if he’s that shallow, well then forget it. Plenty of other fish posers in the sea of yoga mats at the 5pm power class. Still, he is dreamy, isn’t he? Why can’t he decide between the Green Goddess and the Veggeriffic? Will he be this way when we’re picking a restaurant on date night? Which indie bio doc to watch on Netflix? Where to put the baby bassinet when we have the perfect yoga bambino wrapped in 100% organic hemp diapers? Why did he sign up for just two weeks anyway? Does that mean he has trouble with commitment? Will we ride out this impassioned affair only to find there was nothing substantial behind the steamy yoga and late night bolster talk over how amaaaazing next year’s yoga festivals will be? Will she have to body paint and feather up and find someone else to glitter hoop with? So much for melting hearts. He’s not going to break hers!

Sigh.

Another day, another yoga love connection. If only it weren’t for those damn two-week trials.

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