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10 Things You Won’t Hear at Lululemon

in YD News, YogaHaha

Highly successful yoga clothing chain Lululemon has seen its share of public fiascos and feather kerfluffing, but it’s also seen, well, its shares and stocks keep rising and profits soar. What can we say, this yoga thing is popular, as are pricey pants that squeeze your but-tocks. Ecosalon.com put a zingy list together of 10 Things You’ll Never Hear at a Lululemon for all the stretchy bottomed girls, and the rest of us.

1. “Yes, but do I need a separate sweat-wicking infinity scarf for jogging and Zumba?”

2. “What a coincidence! Atlas Shrugged inspired me to take up yoga, too. Did you know that “namaste” is the Sanskrit word for Objectivism?”

3. “This sweater doesn’t have enough zippers on it.”

4. “Sure, I’ve been to other sporting apparel outlets, but I just don’t feel comfortable buying leggings unless I can see the personal fitness goals of the clerk selling them to me scribbled in chalk on a blackboard by the door.”

5. “I’ve been looking for something that combines meditation with balls-out capitalism and a murky connection to Scientology, and I think I’ve found it.”

6. “Do you have this in a size 14?”

Read the full list at Ecosalon: 10 Things You’ll Never Hear at Lululemon.

Have some of your own?

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11 comments… add one

  • Westley Anson

    I love LLL, buy their stuff, and think this article is very funny! I think it says less about LLL and more about the ABUNDANCE of Yoginis who practice Yoga just so they can sport their latest clothing they bought.

    I had one Yogini come to my class wearing an entire purple LLL outfit, multiple pieces of jewelry, and the JF Purple Manduka Mat. Probably had over $500 worth of stuff for my $10 Yoga Class! I just had to smile and say Namaste.

  • Anita

    Lululemon, Anusara, John Friend, Bikram, Power-Yoga, Christ-Yoga, etc.

    Gosh, there seem to be so very many distractions standing between your Yoga and you, in the US.

    Here in India, we’ve got Yoga – as compiled by Rishi Patanjali – being taught to us by selfless teachers such as Guru BKS Iyengar, Baba Ramdev, etc.

    Seems to be far less complicated out here.

  • Anita,

    I think that impression is truer of the cities and wealthier areas in the US as opposed to more rural areas. It’s also largely the impression from our marketing/consumer culture as opposed to the larger yoga culture here.

    In my experience, most people practicing yoga are not buying fancy clothes, going on retreats and workshops, and so on. They are just day-to-day folks going to yoga classes in simple studios, gyms, community centers, and churches — taught by teachers who do not earn a lot of money, who share out of love and joy for the practice, and you just go about daily life.

    I was recently reading a bio about a fellow yoga teacher, and my friend — also a teacher — asked me if I’d travelled as much to get trainings. The reality is that I didn’t. This person was traveling all over for years to see and practice with different teachers.

    I’ve never had that level of income. I practice with local teachers, and if a ‘big name’ happens to pass through and I have the money for their workshop, I might take it. But my teachers have always been the “anonymous” ones — the ones no one has heard of.

    But, the thing that grows out of this is special. Instead of traveling around and barely knowing someone, I had the opportunity to work with those teachers very closely for years. It didn’t require any more travel than, really, going out my door.

    That is how I got my teacher training, too. Not a 200 hr one. Not traveling all over the world chasing a teacher so that I could get a certain number of hours. It was a quiet apprenticeship that had — to me at least — simple requirements: practice at home, meditate, take classes, do community service for the studio/teacher and then out in the wider community, and work with the teacher by observing and assisting classes and simply ‘learning to teach.’ It was a 4- yr process, and then I moved and did a second 2 year process with another teacher (before moving again).

    Most of us are this. No name brand clothes and such, no fancy props, no fancy studios or fancy teachers — just keeping it simple, and quietly teaching and practicing yoga.

  • simply yoga

    I’ve had a similar experience. I practiced for 15 years before it even occurred to me to go on a yoga retreat. It seemed unnecessary, as I was so fulfilled studying in my own city, with wonderful teachers from various lineages. Iyengar, ashtanga, basic hatha. Who could ask for more? I did complete a teacher training with an internationally respected instructor, but again, this wonderful person lived and taught in my city. I am fortunate, I guess, that I live in a large metropolitan area with lots of opportunity, so I never felt any kind of lack for the best. We always just wore t-shirts and sweats, or leotards and simple stretch pants (my personal favorite). Hey, I always find something perfect in the Target pajama department, believe it or not!

    I gasp when I hear of $20,000 and up trainings and certification programs. What the…!? It’s just lunacy.

    I never chose to teach, but my practice is, and always will be, a huge part of my life.

    People do in yoga as they do in life. Some like it fancy, with all the trappings, and some just… like it.

  • I agree. All 6,000 hrs of my apprenticeships were work-study (ie, free or “seva” based, but we just called it work-study). It was an education, I tell you! :)

    Worth every minute of work I put in. :D

  • simply yoga

    I bet you’re a wonderful teacher, Jennifer. Your students are very lucky. :)

  • I absolutely LOVE my lululemon stuff but it was funny all the same… esp the one about the zippers!

  • So refreshing to read the above from Jennifer and Rita. Thanks so much. A teacher too, i try to teach from my heart and be the best example i can be. I encourage non- violence, non-judgment and to being content with what we have right here, right now. Everyone needs to stop talking about yoga and get back to just practising this fabulous science, being true to ourselves and those that come to class. We are humans with warts and all, and most of us dont aspire to be world class or world known, we just love what we do in the here and now, in our communities, practising being kind and respectful.

  • I laughed when I read this. I don’t have any LLL gear. I used my old 10.00 purple mat for years… it had paint stains on it! My husband gave me a soft purple strap to match and I bought my work out gear at Walmart, Last year, I decided I wanted a new mat and I looked at the Manduka pro and the Jade, both very pricey compared to my old mat. I went back and forth in my mind on the expense.. but in the end gave myself permission to buy the Jade. I realized that at some point I had been doing yoga off and on for over 30 years already.. It was no longer just a hobby, it was my lifestyle and yoga would always be a part of my life! So I spent some cash on new props, towels and cool workout gear. But no zippers and no jewelry yet. :)

  • Leeanne

    Actually, I recently lost quite a bit of weight and I DID ask if they had a size 14… I think they are missing a whole group of women who would buy their clothing if they sold plus sizes…. I actually don’t buy a lot of their clothes because I think 1) the prices are crazy and 2) it’s offensive they don’t cater to all women who want to exercise. I might be down to a size 8 now but I’m still going to buy my yoga pants where everyone else can…

  • sf

    Another thing you will never hear there…”Wow, this (insert clothing item name here) is SO inexpensive and such a great deal!!”

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