So Dennis “Chip” Wilson has officially called it quits as King Goalsetter, otherwise known as chief innovation and branding officer, at mega yoga butt squeezing institution, Lululemon. He will remain as Chairman of the board, but will no longer have any say in design or the now infamous ruckus-raising marketing. Although, according to CEO Christine Day, Chip has been out of the day-to-day lulu lollie biz for a while now.
“It’s important to realize Chip hasn’t played a day-to-day role in the company in the last two years, he’s played the role of inspiration or a final set of eyes on projects,” Day said. “We had been setting up for this, developing the horsepower for him to make the transition.”
Those horses bucked pretty hard with the Ayn Rand fiasco yeehawing Chip into his final hurrah as the voice of lulu’s marketing. Honestly, we’re sad to see him go. The Forbes article explains that there will be no structural changes from Wilson’s departure and that Chief Product Officer Sheree Waterson will take on Chip’s product development tasks. STILL this does give us a chance to live out our fantasy yoga league, starting with Chipster’s replacement at Lululemon.
So here we go! Our top picks for Chip Wilson’s replacement at lulu, in order of eligibility:
1. Bikram Choudhury: The Yoga Don! Besides being the obvious first choice due to bad boy antics and megaton balls, we would LOVE to see what controversial slogans BiChou would come up with. Thought “Who is John Galt?” was questionable? Just wait for the Bikram branded sweatbands featuring his copyrighted, trademarked, patented catchphrases like “Nobody f*cks with me” and “We are a totally f*cked up society. What are they eating for breakfast on Jupiter?”
2. Elena Brower: No longer attached to Anusara, Elena is shining as a teacher not only of yoga, but of empowerment, self-love and following your heart. Our only hesitance is that we don’t wish upon her having to leave one creepy corporation just to move to another.
3. Seane Corn: Yes, another strong woman of empowerment with the chutzpah to create change! We have a feeling Seane would teach lulus a thing or two about putting money where your mouth is and use some of those billions to save lives and rebuild others. Saving butts comes later.
4. Anusara Inc.: Yep, the entire company. For some reason we have this weird fantasy of seeing two of the most influential yoga corporations come head to head and mix kool-aid flavors. Recipe for disaster or will their creepy cultish reputations cancel each other out? Mentos and Diet Coke or Diet Coke with a lemon?
5. A 3-way tie between Alec Baldwin, Mick Jagger and Stephen Colbert. With Alec’s actor status, political savvy and yogi first lady, Colbert’s sarcastic humor and quick-wit and let’s face it, Mick Jagger’s swagger, that would make for one helluva lululemon marketing and brand design trifecta! Who’s ready for the lulu-sponsored Colbert show with resident luon-clad hip-shaker Mick Jagger, and Tina Fey’s ’30 Rock’ character re-envisioned as Liz (lulu)Lemon?? Dead ringers for the job!
- ‘Yoga Don’ Bikram’s Best Quotes, presented by YogaDawg
- Bikram Choudhury: Cult Rock Star, Yogapreneur, Magic Genie Sex Machine
- Stephen Colbert Warns of Lululemon’s Ayn Rand Influence on Yoga, Hilariously
- Rich, Possibly Befuddled Lululemon Founder Chip Wilson Resigns After Series of Controversies
- Toilet Yoga? Top 3 Movements for Relief
- Bikram’s Tricia Donegan On Elitists, and How Celebriyogi Lady Gaga Will Change the World