Abercrombie & Fitch joins the yoga clothing game, and $31 billion womens active wear market, with a less than human, Syms-like Pixar pixie with toothpicks for legs. Alas, their yoga pants will give you the “perfect butt” no matter where you’re going. Like the mall or a bar mitzvah. Sigh.Nevermind that they only come in sizes small – large, with large measuring a 29 – 30.5 inch waist and 39 – 40.5 inch hips. Thank goodness the population coming in under those valuations will have ‘tocks perfecto, while the rest of us must continue drudging through the cereal aisle forever destined for woefully flawed butt cheeks.
Besides the fact that we’re fascinated a pair of yoga pants can perfect any part of us, we’re frustrated that a clothing company infamous for sex-driven eye candy ads has to assault the yoga world with impossible promises and unrealistic body images, though safe to say we’re not surprised.
The catch in all this buttfoonery? A&F’s pants are marginally less than a lot of other options on the market. At $28-48 you get no sweat-wicking magic, but a cotton/spandex blend much like, say, American Apparel, or what you’ll find at your local Target.
They’ve even copied the Lululemon color striped waistband band, as many predecessors have opted to do, for stylish flair. Ah, but we can ignore all that. Why? Because all we care about is the perfect butt, because duh, that’s why we do yoga.
Not an Abercrombie fan? Don’t worry, little teen sibling store Hollister has your perfect skinny fit for the 14-18 year old lot. Literally, the exact same pants, just with a different logo. It disturbs us we feel some fraction of relief they’ve toned down the butt talk to “awesome” rather than “perfect” for minors.
- Lululemon Stock Downgrade Due to Pricey Yoga Pants, Analyst Says
- Mick Jagger Trades Drinking for Yoga, Healthy Diet, Beauty
- Gap Inc.’s Athleta, the Non-Lululemon, Comes to Take Manhattan, Plans 50 Stores by 2013
- The Curvy Yoga Proclamation: A Letter to Yoga Journal
- This Week In Yoga: Celebrate Yoga Month, NYC Flash Mob Update, Alec Baldwin as Yogi Mayor