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Yoga Style Guide #4: Chin Yoga + Kindaloony

in YD News, YogaHaha

Perhaps it is planetary…or possibly the Mary Jane mamas live nearby, but there is a decidedly head-in-the-clouds situation settling down and making a home in many noggins as of late. No matter your mood, mire, or mental mixology, yoga has a fitting flavor. This week, Yogin Robbins is serving up drool-worthy, dizzying scoops of Chin Yoga and Kindaloony. So apropos.

Part 4 in the 5-Part Series: 10 New Yoga Styles Taking the World By Storm

Chin Yoga + Kindaloony

7 ) Chin Yoga (origin: Yin Yoga)

a. Common Poses: Sirslothsana, Drooling Dog Pose, and Snoozejayi Breath.

b. Anatomical Focus: The waddle. When your waddle is hanging loose, so, my friend, are you. Expand your waddle with your breath.

c. Benefits: Fancy being coddled like a man-bebe? This is your yoga. Lay around, drool all over yourself, and coo along with your teacher’s melodic voice, like yogic lullabies.

d. Contraindications: Type A’s will die a little inside with every passing moment. Whatever you do, keep them away from sharp objects and do NOT let them have a strap.

e. Beginner’s Tip: Letting it all go means you may want to invest in a case of Depends.

f. Props: So many pillowy bolsters and straps, it’s like an oddly gentle S&M show.

8 ) Kindaloony (origin: Kundalini)

a. Common Poses: Let’s cut to the chase. Only crazy people hold their arms up for 31 minutes. Every class looks like a game of Simon Says on pause.

b. Anatomical Focus: The serpent that lives in your spine. Someday, he will rise up and spring out from atop your head like snakes-in-a-can.

c. Cautions: If you do the kriyas incorrectly or take Yogi Bhajan’s name in vain, you will become permanently (not temporarily, as per usual) insane.

d. Beginner’s Tip: Late night infomercials sell those Turbie Twist thingies, which double as excellent holy headwraps. Word to the wise.

e. Deepen the Pose: Retaining the breath until you pass out garners Guru status, your own following, and a rockstar mic headset. Simon Says make those loonies do the wave!

f. Celebrity Practitioners: Gary Busey and Tom Cruise.

Happy drooling and hunky-dory looning!

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Lo is a writer who lives for mystery and intrigue. Her great yogic loves include Vinyasa Flow and Kundalini. She finds joy in the small things: rocking wellies year-round, cultivating her natural impishness, and writing bios in third person. Lo can often be found sipping Earl Grey tea while plotting world domination and resides at yisforyogini.com.

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11 comments… add one

  • You know, I kind of have a weird fondness for Gary Busey. I don’t know, maybe the looney yogi in him.
    *smile*

  • i love that you can never tell what’s going to come out of his mouth next. makes him rather delightful. ;)

  • David D

    Lo has talent. That’s all I’m sayin’.

  • David, let’s get married and practice lots of yoga together. :D

  • David D

    Stop. You’re makin’ me blush.

  • JeffreyD

    This series sucks. The first one outlining the 10 new styles of yoga was kind of funny, the joke should have been allowed to die there.

  • yogi_unfiltered

    Opinions are like a-holes. If yours is puckered and shitty, you probably shouldn’t share it with others.

  • Jeffrey – i’m dedicating part 5 of 5 to you, my pretty.

    Yogi Un – nothing more perfect has ever been said. i worship your brain!

  • yogi_unfiltered – you rock!

    Lo – you always bring a smile to my face – keep on doing the voo doo that you do! XO

  • really cute stuff! nice to have humor with yoga:) thanks
    from a fellow kindaloony (kundaloony?)yogini and other forms..

  • Yeah, what’s wrong with a little humor? Also from another kindaloony…

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