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The Royal Wedding: Kate’s Bachyogette Party

in Celebriyogis, YD News, YogaHaha

This must be kept very hush-hush. It wouldn’t be proper for the things you’re about to read to get out amongst the general public (read: non-yoga people). YD and I have been rather barmy lately, and for good reason: we were busy throwing a rollicking three-day Bachyogette Party for the now Princess Bride, Kate Middleton. We were just the yoginis to do it. Who else knows debauchery and yoga like we do?! The correct answer is no one.

Tuesday, April 26th { Gobsmacked by the Queen }:

- Sneaking YD and myself into Kate’s quarters could have been beastly. Fortunately, we had our Kundalini turbans handy — we nicked two wheelchairs, wrapped ourselves up like mummies, and rolled in breezily as objects of Miss Middleton’s charitable efforts.
- Midway through our ruse, the Queen made her entrance and we thought for sure we were buggered. Imagine how gobsmacked we were when we discovered QE was down to party!
- Forget everything you’ve heard. Lizzie is the bee’s knees. She took us to all the best pubs, smoked baccy like a champ, and showed Kate what a bender really looks like, YD-style.

Wednesday, April 27th { Arse Over Elbow }:

- Detox time. We began the day with Sun Salutations, did an English Breakfast tea cleanse, and used our neti pots to purify our nostrils of the Polo Mints we snorted. The Queen’s idea. No lie.
- Kate mentioned something about being “arse over elbow,” which we interpreted to be the English version of Eka Pada Koundinyasana. Hours of arm balances and inversions on the lawn. KMid rocks a mean Bakasana.
- In the vein of keeping it clean and avoiding any dodgy behavior, we spent the evening reading Harry Potter and Shakespeare to each other in the bath.

Thursday, April 28th { Knobs and Knickers }:

- Bloody hell, what an evening! Two words: Big Ben. Ahem, NOT the grand clock. Big Ben the stripper English gentleman escort. We spent all night tucking Pounds into his rather large knickers. Ben is the master of forward folds, Wheel, and Urdhva Upavistha Konasana. Blimey!
- Content and slightly dazed, we hit the sheets with a newfound appreciation for English exotic dancing yoga.

At the end of our whirlwind trip, we kissed the Queen, hugged Kate, and left Prince William with three bits of advice:

1. Keep your pecker up. (hey now, pecker = chin for all you non-Brits!)
2. Practice lots of Downward-Facing Dog.
3. Give Kate all the Spotted Dick she asks for.

Toodle-pip!

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Lo is a writer who lives for mystery and intrigue. Her great loves include Vinyasa Flow, Kundalini, and British slang. She finds joy in the small things: practicing yoga in wellies, cultivating her natural impishness, and writing bios in third person. Lo can often be found sipping Earl Grey tea while plotting world domination and resides at yisforyogini.com.

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5 comments… add one

  • tipping my spot of tea to this post. fantastic!

  • Wow, sounds like my kind of party.. yoga party that is.. I haven’t tied one on with royalty, but I have been known to give the Texas “royalty” a reason to be drinking the Emergen-C..

    So happy to hear Miz Kate had the send off that every grrl should have!
    hugs and loves YD & Lo!

  • Lo and YD – thanks for taking one for the yogini team and treating KMid and Lizzie to some good times! Now I know why they both looked so relaxed and happy on the big royal wedding day!

  • L.O.L. Just, lol! :-)

  • Your mind is amazing!! I am just cracking up. Definitely a nice read for a dreary day. BTW, I have always thought the queen was a secret party animal!

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