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The Yoga of ‘Cops’: Whatcha Gonna Do?!

in YD News, YogaHaha

On this, the Day of Fools, let us pay homage to a show full of them — the greatest real reality series of our time: ‘Cops’. The yogic parallels are uncanny and the bad boys and girls are plentiful. Everybody knows that yoga naw give you no break, hey hey!

The Yoga of ‘Cops’

{ hide + seek }
Cops: Clearly, carrying concealed sh*t gets people into trouble.
Yoga: Hiding your feelings from yourself is a recipe for sobbing loudly during Pigeon. The truth, like concealed weaponry, always comes out.

{ practice }
C: If you can’t walk in a straight line or say your ABC’s, you are probably inebriated. Practice sobriety.
Y: If you fall out of Tree or faceplant in Peacock, practice your poses.

{ safety first }
C: Quote from a deputy: “He had that weed hidden in his hindquarters. Use gloves.”
Y: Studio floors are generally filthy, a la toe jam, sweat, and hindquarters. Use a mat.

{ carry a big stick }
C: Carrying a Tec-9 in your pants never goes unnoticed.
Y: Carrying a (ahem, visible) torch for your teacher or fellow student is also noticeable. Focus. Don’t poke us.

{ speed limits }
C: Quote from a high-speed chase perp: “I ain’t no sissyboy. That’s why I didn’t stop!”
Y: That’s your inner pusher talking. Stuff a toe sock in it and respect where you’re at.

{ hands up + handstands }
C: “Pull over” means “Stop before we hurt you.”
Y: “Come down” means “Stop before you hurt yourself.”

{ munchies }
C: Doughnuts, no matter how delightfully delicious, will not help a cop do his/her job.
Y: Too many doughnuts will hinder your forward bends.

{ in every episode }
C: Snug pants, sweaty bodies, and screeching, “Noooo officer!”
Y: Snug pants, sweaty bodies, and chanting, “Ommmm Shanti.”

The road to catching all the baddies is just like the road to enlightenment: long, trying, and fraught with pesky potholes…but so worth it.

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Lo is a writer who lives for mystery and intrigue. She watches an obscene amount of Cops and enjoys seeing the bad guys get f’d up. She finds joy in the small things: practicing yoga in wellies, cultivating her natural impishness, and writing bios in third person. Lo can often be found sipping Earl Grey tea while plotting world domination and resides at yisforyogini.com.

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6 comments… add one

  • Awesome comparison between cops and yogi’s. I wish the pigeon was echoed throughout. My favorite line was “Focus. Don’t poke us.” I’m still laughing at everything you wrote. Thank you so much for making my afternoon better and for the laughs. Keep up the awesome writing and bringing yoga to all levels of life.

  • actually I DID have cops walk into my yoga class once.

    but that’s a long story. too bad I’m no longer blogging. :)

    (and that is NOT an April Fool’s joke!)

  • needed the smiles, thank you ;-)

    liked stuff like, “If you fall out of Tree or faceplant in Peacock…”

    nice work, keep cultivating that “natural impisheness….” ;-)

  • love it! hilarious and cracked me up big time

  • You are zbest!

  • You kill me! This is hilarious!

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