The tasteless tweets of both 50 “been hit with a few shells” Cent and Gilbert (The Aflac Duck) Gottfried landed them in hot water this week. Alas, the social mediasphere has a line. Perhaps ol’ Bikram can get away with just about anything, but how about all the regular Joe Schmogas? Ever wonder how far you could push 140 yogic characters?
How to Lose Your Yoga Teaching Job in 1 (or 10) Tweet(s):
- ‘When I say mula bandha, I MEAN the boom-boom area, the goods, the bizness. Crotches, tally ho!’
- ‘Mofo, I got bills to pay. Get your cheap ass back over to that donation bowl and show mama some love!’
- ‘Crunchy Swingers Party at my house after today’s class! Woo!’
- ‘I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly. Take your beginner booty out of here and back to Level 1. F’ing noob.’
- ‘That rule about not banging your students? Heh. Just a guideline. #bootytapasana’
- ‘My favorite adjustments to give: tweaking groins and making mula bandhas moo. Awww yeah.’
- ‘Only BABIES take child’s pose. Next class, I start handing out diapers!’
- ‘Hey Cirque Du Freak, this ain’t Cirque Du Soleil. Damn showoff. #posesicantdo’
- ‘If ONE more person complains about a pulled hammy or urinary incontinence, I’m gonna break some legs. #yogawussies’
- ‘You are ripe with the stench of rotting corpses, you flagrant flesh eater!’
You’ve been forewarned. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Lo is a writer who lives for mystery and intrigue. She finds joy in the small things: practicing yoga in wellies, defending her favorite “unyogic” behaviors, and writing bios in third person. Lo can often be found sipping Earl Grey tea while plotting world domination and resides at yisforyogini.com.
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