You can’t keep this Dawg from good zinger brilliance! Exclusively lent to YD.
Somewhere in the parallel universe a pair of twins were spewed from the loins of the Cosmic Mother with such force that it ruptured the firmament and caused the twins to be born to two different earth mothers at different times, in different places and eventually ended up in La La Land.
INSTRUCTIONS: Place a B or a C in each set of quotes. When completed click on the link below to find out how you did.
1. They lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives, and then they look at me and they say, ‘I can’t process it.’ Well, no, and you never will, stop trying. ____
What happens when they say they will commit suicide unless you sleep with them? What am I supposed to do? Sometimes having an affair is the only way to save someone’s life. ____
2. The nights I don’t sleep it’s because there’s a higher calling telling me to stand guard. ____
I’m feeling sleepy, because I haven’t gone shopping for a long time. ____
3. I’m in show biz. I entertain people. ____
I am grandiose because I live a grandiose life; what’s wrong with that? ____
4. I should be the most honored man in the country. ____
I’m different. I have a different heart. I have a different type of blood. ____
5. We had a saying that the fun stops at one. They’d just puke all over it. ____
Don’t throw up on the carpet. It’s new. ____
6. I’m battle tested bayonets. ____
I’m bullet proof, waterproof, wind proof, money proof, sex proof, emotion proof, stress proof, strength proof. ____
7. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists. ____
Nobody fucks with me. ____
8. I am special, and I will never be one of you! ____
I’m a product of Beverly Hills. ____
9. I control my kingdom like a gangster. ____
I look like a gangster? Well, I feel like a gangster. ____
10. We are a totally fucked up society. ____
This is like a sober acid trip. ____
11. I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin rock star from Mars. ____
What are they eating for breakfast on Jupiter? ____
12. I have balls like atom bombs, two of them, 100 megatons each. ____
I’m an F-18 and I will destroy you in the air. ____
13. YogaDawg; Winner! ____
YogaDawg; Winner! ____
I got so many of these wrong! I am glad I am not Bikram Chodhury..I would not want to be put on par with Charlie Sheen…although he does have tiger blood.
Hilarious! Thanks Yoga Dork!
i got lost thinking i knew what they knew and suddenly knew i knew nothing they said they knew –
i gave up then, and realized i felt new…
i knew these guys healed 😉
Urhm…this quiz is hard 😉
psshhhaw~ i got all these right.
i totally know my manic ego maniacs from one another.
“no one on the corner has swagger like us… already going to hell just pumping that gas”
YogaDawg is a bona fide genius. No doubt. 🙂
I got a 100% on the quiz. I don’t know whether I should be proud or ashamed.
Another Bikram point of view that should qualify as yoga news:
Several years ago I ruptured my L5 disc in my spine, riding an ATV in Alaska. Unable to work, walk, stand or sit without tremendous back and sciatic nerve pain, I went to the top medical experts and spine specialists at Scripps Hospital in La Jolla, California for help. They gave me two choices 1) drill through my spine, remove the disc and fuse three vertebrae with a steel rod, ($75,000 and immediate relief from pain), or 2) do nothing and ride out the pain with physical therapy, pain killers, chiropractors, and yoga. Then I discovered Bikram yoga. I admit, the first few months were hell. But soon my body responded. Only with the heated class and the ‘camel and rabbit’ postures, was I able to go deeply enough into my spine, to heal the L5 disc that was ruptured. Now, i’ve been doing Bikram yoga for ten years and my body thanks me every day. After ten years without back pain, I can honestly say Bikram knows more about healing the spine then all of the back specialists, chiropractors, accupuncturists, and drug companies combined.
Meanwhile, over the years, I’ve had to protect myself from countless ‘yoga experts’ and ‘holistic health care practitioners’ and well intentioned ‘true believers’ who LOVE to rail against Bikram, while simultaneously stealing everything he does. And now seeing your website I’m seeing how far people will go to make themselves seem more knowledgeable than they truly are. While all of you, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, yoga dorks, yoga dawgs, and media whores are great for juicy entertainment; you are no one to assess the health benefits of Bikram yoga. Ironically, YOU are also the ones profiting on people’s confusion about yoga and lust for entertainment. However, you should be careful, because had I listened to you, I might have never tried Bikram yoga, and would still be on pain killers, having chronic back pain and doing relaxing, but ineffective yoga. Or worse, listening to Eminem while chanting ‘Om’ in a sun salutation. You may think that doing 108 sun salutations listening to Eminem’s ‘lose yourself’ and Rolling Stones ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ while chanting ‘Om’, is being ‘on the path’ or better than doing a Bikram class, but I wholeheartedly disagree.
But I have to admit, your site did make me smile.
Damn!!!!! Go Tara!!!!!