Wherever Gaga goes, the world follows…even if that includes wetting one’s whistle with whiskey whilst rocking a Warrior 1 or two. If crunk = crazy + drunk, then we ’bout to get yogrunk up in here.
How to Play The Yoga Drinking Game:
- Get thee to a
nunnery breweryyoga class.
- Bring along your favorite lubricational libations. (These can be wrapped up in your mat, which is conveniently constructed of materials suspiciously similar to spongy beer cozies.)
- If the teacher makes a yogalomaniacally dramatic entrance, chug.
- Chants get chugs, too.
- Scan the room for the presence of Lululemon. Do a shot for every
lemmingL-clad yoga body. (It would be almost humanly impossible not to be yogrunk by now, but you must carry on. Patanjali would want it that way. Make him proud.)
- See a stray toenail sliver skitter across the floor? Substitute it for the worm in your tequila and slosh it back.
- Score a five-minute break from imbibing if you can convert your nearest mat neighbors into yogrunk game players.
- First to faceplant during Ardha Chandrasana or any flavor of arm balance gets help putting his/her teeth back in and must lap a beer off the sweatiest mat.
- Specific poses appearing in the sequence of the day have their own rules:
- Chug-a-lug for every Chaturanga
- Knock two back for Kukkutasana
- Guzzle for Gomukhasana (cows have four stomachs)
- Slam one during Sphinx (your hands are already in go-position)
- Pound a pint for each Plank
- Gulp through Garudasana (
flyhigh like an Eagle)
- Down whatever you’ve got for every Down Dog
10. And just when you thought it was game-over…
One last salivatory swig is a prerequisite for Savasana. Lie back. Settle in. You’ve earned it.