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Whiskey-A-Yoga: The Yoga Drinking Game

in YD News, YogaHaha

Introducing our first contributing post from the illustrious yisforyogini. Open a can of Yoga Ha Ha. Bottoms up!

Wherever Gaga goes, the world follows…even if that includes wetting one’s whistle with whiskey whilst rocking a Warrior 1 or two. If crunk = crazy + drunk, then we ’bout to get yogrunk up in here.

How to Play The Yoga Drinking Game:

  1. Get thee to a nunnery brewery yoga class.
  2. Bring along your favorite lubricational libations. (These can be wrapped up in your mat, which is conveniently constructed of materials suspiciously similar to spongy beer cozies.)
  3. If the teacher makes a yogalomaniacally dramatic entrance, chug.
  4. Chants get chugs, too.
  5. Scan the room for the presence of Lululemon. Do a shot for every lemming L-clad yoga body. (It would be almost humanly impossible not to be yogrunk by now, but you must carry on. Patanjali would want it that way. Make him proud.)
  6. See a stray toenail sliver skitter across the floor? Substitute it for the worm in your tequila and slosh it back.
  7. Score a five-minute break from imbibing if you can convert your nearest mat neighbors into yogrunk game players.
  8. First to faceplant during Ardha Chandrasana or any flavor of arm balance gets help putting his/her teeth back in and must lap a beer off the sweatiest mat.
  9. Specific poses appearing in the sequence of the day have their own rules:
  • Chug-a-lug for every Chaturanga
  • Knock two back for Kukkutasana
  • Guzzle for Gomukhasana (cows have four stomachs)
  • Slam one during Sphinx (your hands are already in go-position)
  • Pound a pint for each Plank
  • Gulp through Garudasana (fly high like an Eagle)
  • Down whatever you’ve got for every Down Dog

10. And just when you thought it was game-over…

One last salivatory swig is a prerequisite for Savasana. Lie back. Settle in. You’ve earned it.

——
Lo is a writer who lives for mystery and intrigue. She finds joy in the small things: practicing yoga in wellies, defending her favorite “unyogic” behaviors, and writing bios in third person. Lo can often be found sipping Earl Grey tea (not alcohol) while plotting world domination, and resides at yisforyogini.com.
——
*YD reminds you to yoga + drink responsibly. Take two extended savasanas and call us in the morning.
——
Earlier

22 comments… add one

  • There is no end to the awesomeness that is this.

  • Belly up to Balasana!

  • considering i had some of the best whiskey i’d had in a long time at a wedding this past weekend, hmmm -

    forgot what i was considering ;-)

  • Barring the fact I don’t drink (anymore), this game would mean alcohol poisoning (and a straight resounding death) in my power upside down class. I see no fun this!

    Kidding. You’re super-awesome. :y

  • Now that’s one way to make sure you’re all relaxed-like in savasana! ;)

  • Savasana? More snoreasana at this stage (if you’re not balasanaing your face down the toilet that is).

    ;)

  • LMAO!! GREAT VISUAL!!! ;0)

  • Tara SG

    Thanks for making me snort tea out of my nose :) This was just the pick up I needed on a cloudy day!!

  • You make me giggle!!!! If drinking, then in savasana, I would have such a lovely nap:-)

  • I just love YIFY! She’s hysterical.

  • LOVE IT LO!!! Ha!

  • this is hilarious. i especially love the lulu shots!

  • Lo, lmfao!!!
    You truly are a Breath of Yoga Bliss!! Loved it, as usual!!
    I’d have alcohol poisoning by the end of class…. please check my pulse in Savasana ;0)

  • Greatest. Ever.

  • For an added challenge, do all this during a Bikram Yoga session; see who can drink the most while sweating all their God given bodily fluids out.

  • Nice work! ;)

  • Go Lo! Lifting a cold one to the future queens of all yoga media. Hopefully this will morph into a site that attracts the best yoga writers in one place. Awesome job guys!

  • love this! my students would be so gone from all the chaturangas I do!

  • Oh I love me a good drinking game! Here are a few more ideas for a swig:
    - Every Om you take
    - Every time you hear a Deva Premal or Krishna Das song
    - Every time you go to your left side when you are supposed to go to the right (which would happen a lot if playing this game)

  • Yoda Girl

    ^◕‿◕^ whiskey a no no
    (*L*) whiskey a go go

    lmao

  • first of all, love the gaga shout out. raja yoga-ga. oh-la-pranayama. mudra MONSTER.

    second of all, this article is yogasmic perfection. siddhartha gautama himself could not have come up with such genius. (bottoms up to buddha blasphemy?)

    p.s. i would definitely consider adding “those with exaggerated ocean breaths get drowned in a champagne shower.” not a fan of the ostentatious ujjayi.

  • cathy

    marvelous, thanks

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