Introducing our first contributing post from the illustrious yisforyogini. Open a can of Yoga Ha Ha. Bottoms up!
Wherever Gaga goes, the world follows…even if that includes wetting one’s whistle with whiskey whilst rocking a Warrior 1 or two. If crunk = crazy + drunk, then we ’bout to get yogrunk up in here.
How to Play The Yoga Drinking Game:
- Get thee to a
nunnery breweryyoga class.
- Bring along your favorite lubricational libations. (These can be wrapped up in your mat, which is conveniently constructed of materials suspiciously similar to spongy beer cozies.)
- If the teacher makes a yogalomaniacally dramatic entrance, chug.
- Chants get chugs, too.
- Scan the room for the presence of Lululemon. Do a shot for every
lemmingL-clad yoga body. (It would be almost humanly impossible not to be yogrunk by now, but you must carry on. Patanjali would want it that way. Make him proud.)
- See a stray toenail sliver skitter across the floor? Substitute it for the worm in your tequila and slosh it back.
- Score a five-minute break from imbibing if you can convert your nearest mat neighbors into yogrunk game players.
- First to faceplant during Ardha Chandrasana or any flavor of arm balance gets help putting his/her teeth back in and must lap a beer off the sweatiest mat.
- Specific poses appearing in the sequence of the day have their own rules:
- Chug-a-lug for every Chaturanga
- Knock two back for Kukkutasana
- Guzzle for Gomukhasana (cows have four stomachs)
- Slam one during Sphinx (your hands are already in go-position)
- Pound a pint for each Plank
- Gulp through Garudasana (
flyhigh like an Eagle)
- Down whatever you’ve got for every Down Dog
10. And just when you thought it was game-over…
One last salivatory swig is a prerequisite for Savasana. Lie back. Settle in. You’ve earned it.
There is no end to the awesomeness that is this.
Belly up to Balasana!
considering i had some of the best whiskey i’d had in a long time at a wedding this past weekend, hmmm –
forgot what i was considering 😉
Barring the fact I don’t drink (anymore), this game would mean alcohol poisoning (and a straight resounding death) in my power upside down class. I see no fun this!
Kidding. You’re super-awesome. :y
Now that’s one way to make sure you’re all relaxed-like in savasana! 😉
Savasana? More snoreasana at this stage (if you’re not balasanaing your face down the toilet that is).
LMAO!! GREAT VISUAL!!! ;0)
Thanks for making me snort tea out of my nose 🙂 This was just the pick up I needed on a cloudy day!!
You make me giggle!!!! If drinking, then in savasana, I would have such a lovely nap:-)
I just love YIFY! She’s hysterical.
LOVE IT LO!!! Ha!
this is hilarious. i especially love the lulu shots!
You truly are a Breath of Yoga Bliss!! Loved it, as usual!!
I’d have alcohol poisoning by the end of class…. please check my pulse in Savasana ;0)
For an added challenge, do all this during a Bikram Yoga session; see who can drink the most while sweating all their God given bodily fluids out.
Nice work! 😉
Go Lo! Lifting a cold one to the future queens of all yoga media. Hopefully this will morph into a site that attracts the best yoga writers in one place. Awesome job guys!
love this! my students would be so gone from all the chaturangas I do!
Oh I love me a good drinking game! Here are a few more ideas for a swig:
– Every Om you take
– Every time you hear a Deva Premal or Krishna Das song
– Every time you go to your left side when you are supposed to go to the right (which would happen a lot if playing this game)
^◕‿◕^ whiskey a no no
(*L*) whiskey a go go
first of all, love the gaga shout out. raja yoga-ga. oh-la-pranayama. mudra MONSTER.
second of all, this article is yogasmic perfection. siddhartha gautama himself could not have come up with such genius. (bottoms up to buddha blasphemy?)
p.s. i would definitely consider adding “those with exaggerated ocean breaths get drowned in a champagne shower.” not a fan of the ostentatious ujjayi.