Oh you are going to love this one. The February issue of DETAILS mag has an enlightening article entitled “The Overheated, Oversexed Cult of Bikram Choudhury“. Immediate reaction: Uh ohh!
Wow, it’s been a while since we got any juiciness from the yogapreneuring king of sweat-asana. Last we heard the Yoga Don was sipping chai with the honchos at Colony Capital to broker some bigger-than-Elvis deal. Well, if you’ve been salivating for more spicy Bikram sauce, author Clancy Martin delivers a rip-roaring account of the raucousness inside the wide-eyed (legged?) world of sweaty sexed-up bods, erections in asana, and some classic hyperbole’d Bikramisms (scroll down for faves).
It’s not exactly saying anything we didn’t already know, but a glimpse inside the 105-degree heated circus tent is always a fascinating read. And as it seems, there’s much more in the works for Bikram’s empire, including a possible reality show in the US, an all-Bikram channel via India’s Sun, a satellite-radio show, and a magazine. And of course, we’re already well aware of the Olympics campaigning.
Scandalous! Some might say. Marvelous! Others may cry. In any case, we’re pretty familiar with Bikram’s megaton balls-out approach to life and/or marketing. While some mogul gurus would take offense to an article hinting at incidents of debauchery, overindulgence and fame, there’s high doubt we’ll see any form of rebuttal coming from this golden yogi’s throne.
Here are few of our favorite bits:
Setting the tone:
Only the best, bravest, and most beautiful practice at the feet of the guru, who sits cross-legged on a giant inflatable leather throne against the back wall. He’s in a black Speedo, bare-chested, his hair tied in a topknot. His triceps stand out like pistons. Sometimes a woman will brush his hair or wash and massage his feet. He resembles a cartoon genie on his magic carpet. Between cell-phone calls, he barks Bengali-inflected criticisms and corrections into his headset. He speaks only in exclamation points.
The Bikram Diet of meat, coke, sex:
Choudhury has other quirks too. He says he eats a single meal a day (chicken or beef, no fruit or vegetables), drinks only water and Coke, and needs only two hours of sleep a night. Then there are the stories about him having sex with his students. When I ask him about this, he doesn’t deny it—he claims they blackmail him: “Only when they give me no choice! If they say to me, ‘Boss, you must fuck me or I will kill myself,’ then I do it! Think if I don’t! The karma
When I get up to go, he takes my hand. “It is very simple,” he says. “Go do good in the world, like me. Teach them their mind has a screw loose. It hates itself, it hates its body. But the lotus can grow in the garbage! Make them fall in love with themselves! That is the secret. I tell the same thing to my good friends, and they write Chicken Soup for the Soul. They sell, what, 10 million copies? You can trust me.” (You’ll have to—the authors wouldn’t confirm any interaction with Choudhury.)
Outstanding Bikram quotes:
“You, Miss Teeny-Weeny Bikini! Spread your legs! You, Mr. Masturbation! Until I say ‘Change,’ you do not move a muscle!” – commanding from his perch.
“This posture called dirty old bitch! Because not even one more inch can you stretch!” – exuding encouragement.
“I tell them all, ‘No touchy-touchy, no kissy-kissy, no fucky-fucky!’ ” – referring to his inveterate stance on official hookups during teacher training.
“With this one you are fucking until you are 90! You have seven orgasms in a row!” – referring to eagle pose, which he considers the best pose for good sex.
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- Bikram and the Yoga Olympics: Here We Come 2012!