Here they are…
The Yoga Don’s Best and Most Outrageous Quotes
– An Iyengar class looks like a Santa Monica sex shop with all those props.
– They make so many stupid things in America.
– We are a totally fucked up society. What are they eating for breakfast on Jupiter?
– The whole Bikram class is one big brainwashing session.
– I have balls like atom bombs, two of them, 100 megatons each.
– Nobody fucks with me.
– America’s biggest problem is too much freedom.
– Western people can’t meditate. In India people really can’t meditate either.
– When in Rome, I must do as the Romans do. When in America, copyright and trademark.
– I’m feeling sleepy, because I haven’t gone shopping for a long time…. I haven’t bought a car for two years—no, I bought a car last month, the fancy new Chrysler.
– I should be the most honored man in your country.
– Don’t throw up on the carpet. It’s new.
– Why are your legs spread? Women should not spread their legs any time, anywhere! Only in emergencies.
– Downward Facing Dog? That’s not yoga. That’s American circus.
– I control my kingdom like a gangster. It’s the only way it works. In America your biggest problem is you have a second choice. So you have an abuse of choices and too much freedom. It’s like a loaded gun in a kid’s hand.
– How many Rolls-Royce do I own? I don’t know. 35? I give every staff member of mine a car, something like a Jeep Cherokee. I have 17 vans.
– American Yoga teachers are clowns. Circus clowns. They completely fucked yoga. They crucified hatha yoga in America. There is no yoga called kundalini, power, vinyasa, dog yoga.
-Who the fuck is this YogaDawg? He’s the only guru in America besides me who is not a joke.
OK, that last one might not be real, but it might be one of our faves. Thanks YogaDawg!
UPDATE: we have more…and will keep adding them here:
– What happens when they say they will commit suicide unless you sleep with them? What am I supposed to do? Sometimes having an affair is the only way to save someone’s life.
Do you have more to add?
Ha ha ha! He really is a bit of a dick isn’t he? 😉
Great compilation. Made me laugh.
Here’s my favorite Bikram quote, from an Inc. Magazine article titled Yogis Behaving Badly: “What happens when they say they will commit suicide unless you sleep with them?” he says. “What am I supposed to do? Sometimes having an affair is the only way to save someone’s life.”
charlotte! no he did not. haha
must find this…
f0und it! 🙂
Amazing, ain’t it?
Great list of funny yoga quotes haha! Thanks for sharing this!
I’ll be so glad when I don’t hear anything more about this guy. Ever!
If I hadn’t met him in training, which I just completed in June, these quotes would have seemed way over-the-top, crazy and offensive. But when you meet him and hear this crazy sh%t in person, it’s much funnier and convincing. Except for the last one about having an affair to save someone’s life. That’s just BS. But he’s still funny and TOTALLY knowledgeable about the history of yoga, the sutras, anatomy, all the rest. He doesn’t just talk smack.
Here are a few more from the early days, let me know if they are still popular. “You are trying to start Cadillac car with Toyota key” “You must entertain your students as yoga is a painful and boring subject.” “What are you dooooing?” “You must be very succesfull, because you are so fat.” “Half a sandwich and a cup of soup a day for you.” Your ancestors took two hundred years to build this country, and you have destroyed it in the last twenty.” “If you cannot see your ribcage in the mirror, you are to fat.” “Sweetheart, all women make the same mistake about 6 inches” “Women cannot lose the grip, if you lose the grip, it is over.” ” Woman lives in the penthouse, man in the basement, If you invite the crocodile into your bedroom, he will eat you alive.”
I love practicing Bikram Yoga, but when I hear this guy talking – I feel like – why such a great thing is made by such a…? hmmm….how to describe more polite 🙂
Sarah, go see him in person before you judge. He’s actually very sweet and says it all with a HUGE sense of humor. Which is what we all need to practice more of during class!