Here they are…
The Yoga Don’s Best and Most Outrageous Quotes
– An Iyengar class looks like a Santa Monica sex shop with all those props.
– They make so many stupid things in America.
– We are a totally fucked up society. What are they eating for breakfast on Jupiter?
– The whole Bikram class is one big brainwashing session.
– I have balls like atom bombs, two of them, 100 megatons each.
– Nobody fucks with me.
– America’s biggest problem is too much freedom.
– Western people can’t meditate. In India people really can’t meditate either.
– When in Rome, I must do as the Romans do. When in America, copyright and trademark.
– I’m feeling sleepy, because I haven’t gone shopping for a long time…. I haven’t bought a car for two years—no, I bought a car last month, the fancy new Chrysler.
– I should be the most honored man in your country.
– Don’t throw up on the carpet. It’s new.
– Why are your legs spread? Women should not spread their legs any time, anywhere! Only in emergencies.
– Downward Facing Dog? That’s not yoga. That’s American circus.
– I control my kingdom like a gangster. It’s the only way it works. In America your biggest problem is you have a second choice. So you have an abuse of choices and too much freedom. It’s like a loaded gun in a kid’s hand.
– How many Rolls-Royce do I own? I don’t know. 35? I give every staff member of mine a car, something like a Jeep Cherokee. I have 17 vans.
– American Yoga teachers are clowns. Circus clowns. They completely fucked yoga. They crucified hatha yoga in America. There is no yoga called kundalini, power, vinyasa, dog yoga.
-Who the fuck is this YogaDawg? He’s the only guru in America besides me who is not a joke.
OK, that last one might not be real, but it might be one of our faves. Thanks YogaDawg!
UPDATE: we have more…and will keep adding them here:
– What happens when they say they will commit suicide unless you sleep with them? What am I supposed to do? Sometimes having an affair is the only way to save someone’s life.
Do you have more to add?