Hipster Yoga: A How-To Guide, Thank Goodness

Somebody had to go there…in the same vein as Hipster Runoff and Stuff White People Like comes the ‘uber cool but, like, we’re not even trying’, Hipster Yoga: literally a how-to yoga guide for those ironically fueled intentionally devil-may-care, what? I just rolled out of bed, hipster brats kids. How do you lotus pose in converse and twirly mustache, you say? Got your suspenders and neckerchief in a twist working garudasana? And people are around? See? Thank you Hipster Yoga for saving us from an utterly non-cool yoga disaster! Uh, like we cared. pff.

(logo included because it’s cute.)

Here are two faves so far:

Warrior II

1. Keep the right knee bent and the pack of Winstons parallel to the floor.

2. Draw the belly in slightly and contemplate the next line of poetry.

3. Reach out through both finger tips, the gaze is forward over the right hand.

4. Eat vegan because it’s safe to animals but smoke cigarettes around everyone.

Eagle Pose

1. Bring the left leg up and cross the left thigh over the right.

2. Put on glasses even though you have 20/20 vision.

3. Bring the arms out in front and cross the right arm over the left.

4. Sip PBR ironically and/or because you’re poor.

5. Hold 5-10 breaths.

Earlier…American Apparel Taps That Yoga Ass, Again