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NSFW Hot Yoga Satires To Make You Sweat, Laugh, Recoil in Horror [videos]

in YD News, YogaHaha

yoga-undies-guyACK! Leaping lizard pose! Just when we thought we’d seen all the hilarity we could handle from yoga satire videoland, these 2 clips may take the cake on the outrageous-shock-o-meter. The creators of these mini-movies are obviously scholars in the usage of foul language and the inner workings of hot yoga. You may indeed bust a gut with laughter and/or recoil in absolute horror.

WARNING: The following videos are certifiably NSFW. also perhaps Not Safe For Some Yogis!

“I want to do Hot Yoga. I want to lose 10 lbs today because I have dinner at the Applebees tonight and I need to look hot.”

“If you do enough yoga you will be able to time travel.”

“If you start to sweat or feel like you are having heat stroke or you start bleeding from your head, just lay down until you can continue with my secret personal yoga routine that seems like Baptiste’s or Bikram’s, but really I created it.”

AND part 2:

“To do yoga right at the temple, real men should have long hair, no ass and not be able to do any poses better than me.”

“No we can’t do anything different because that’s against the principles of power yoga. If you are not making any progress you have no one to blame but yourself, because you aren’t doing my secret yoga flow right.”

Namaste Namaste Namaste

thanks to Linda at Rodmell Press for the tip!

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14 comments… add one

  • Snarkmonger

    Ha ha! I think I’ve met at least four versions if this guy! at least one was female. Too funny. :D

  • Kai

    “I have high blood pressure, two broken knees, I was born without the ability to sweat and I have no eyeballs. I like to do inversions, but I don’t know what they are.”

    Heh! This is the answer you DON’T want to hear when you ask a new student: Have you pratised yoga before? Do you have any injuries?

  • Didn’t find these shocking at all… just kind of a little bit lame…

    Almost like they’ve taken the worst things ever heard in yoga classes and studios and put them all in one video!

  • “If you do enough yoga you will be able to time travel?”

    Back to a time before some yoga teachers got so up themselves I hope! :D

  • Sam

    Thanks for the laugh!! I’m a yoga teacher and thoroughly enjoyed this. I’ve sent it to all my yogi friends.

  • Meredith LeBlanc

    Funny and repulsive all at the same time. “Not everyone is good enough to do my Secret Yoga Flow” namaste namaste

  • Hilarious!
    Love the bit about breathing through the anus and the fact its not in Iyengar’s book!

  • i’m with svasti on this one. not shocking or funny, just laaaame. (although “iyengar was a pussy” did get a giggle from me.) but seriously, wtf is this? creepy robotic voice filmmaking yoga satire?

  • LOL I’m a hot yoga teacher … this cracked me up!

    The Yoga Slackers have a funny one of these “if-you-can-type-you-can-make-movies” movies on YouTube. Also, funny!

    Thanks!!

  • namaste namaste!

  • Rock My Soles

    Great way to start the day too funny. #yogadork Rocks!

  • I love these vids.. they crack me up! I dont know where you find this stuff sometimes :)

    ash

  • Of course there’s totally a place for funnies! Of course a lot of this stuff totally cracked me up, I gotta say :) I watched these when you initially posted them on the 18th…now I have to share that today, I got a comment on the first yoga video that I ever posted on YouTube (back in march 2007!) and it said this:
    “Please, stop. This is awful. We don’t need your tips or hints about yoga.”

    Nice!

    I can’t say that I don’t cringe upon looking at my kooky self be all excited about feet and calves ;) and by all means I don’t claim to be the world’s greatest yoga teacher!

    I generally administrate comments for that vid as I get a lot of foot fetish commenters that say really disgusting things, but I went ahead and posted this person’s comment. Everyone has their own opinion…but lo and behold, guess who posted that comment? The person that uploaded those two vids you posted, jimgolds69 on YouTube!

    I’m all for making fun and making commentaries, but there’s something to be said about what the intention is coming from a yogi toward another yogi or yoga itself. Of course there are lots of teachers/systems/classes/practices that are totally wacked out and deserve a second look or perhaps a questioning, but I believe we must be mindful and life affirming in the way that we express ourselves in the world.

    I enjoyed watching the vids, they made me laugh, not my sense of humor, but found them interesting and creative. Now, I see them in a different light, perhaps not from a positive point of view.

    What do you think YogaDorks?

  • Snarkmonger

    Elsie, I love your feet video! Your genuineness (and therefore integrity) shows through and your advice is good. The reason the other video (and the people it mocks) was funny to me – and has its place – is because there are too many yogis and would-be “gurus” who, whether they realize it or not, are HUGE hypocrites – operating from a place of what I’ll for now just call Ego Yuck. This does the disservice of turning people off to yoga: Like possibly the guy who posted this silly video – who, based on your comments, I suspect may have become so bitter that he is no longer open to receiving Yoga that is presented from a higher-vibration place in the spirit in which it’s given. Bummer.

    In my opinion, yoga instructors have a responsibility to allow Yoga to be Yoga and to trust that the wisdom in it is real, can be trusted, and need not be micro-managed or heavily branded/marketed to the point that it is essentially FUBAR. We need to allow yoga to unfold for those with whom we share it rather than giving our students a warped view of what a yoga practice is or is not, should or should not “look like,” what yoga means or doesn’t, and/or (my pet peeve), telling people whether what they’re doing is yoga or not based on some odd (often proprietary!) ego-based standard.

    Yoga is bigger than all of us. All we have to do as students and ESPECIALLY as instructors, is present our true selves and allow our ego to step aside long enough for the yoga to teach US. This requires (and cultivates) kindness, humility, gentle and caring thoughts toward ourselves and those with whom we are ONE (if we must think at all…), and in its best, truest, most useful and most available form (to everyone regardless of their “level” or “ability”) raises our vibration to allow ALL of us, teachers and students alike, to bit by bit REMEMBER who we REALLY are, as opposed to making up stories based on how we THINK we are supposed to be… and then selling others on those stories, all too often making them feel inferior, wrong (etc.) in the process.

    If the person who posted the NAMASTE NAMASTE NAMASTE video is really that angry and bitter I can see why, and I absolutely get his point: there are way too many yoga instructors out there who are not operating from a place of integrity! I just hope that he (and me too) can release any residual bitterness toward the people he’s obviously run into who operate from that Ego Yuck place and go ahead and “allow the Yoga in” from people who really are stepping aside and offering it from a place of real joy-in-service rather than allowing it to warp into something it was never meant to be.

    Meanwhile, Elsie, keep doing what you are doing! You are on to something real. (Of course you know this.) May you keep the lovely sense of humor and the brave absence of self-awareness (ego) that I saw in this video because what I saw you offering people here is just a simple little piece of a VERY HUGE gift. Thank you! May all be open to receiving it, exactly for what it is. And, for real, this time: Namaste.

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