Ahoy there lovers and lovelorn seekers of the heart, it’s Valentine’s Day! That’s right, time to break out the ooey gooey mushiness of V-day yoga events. Have a partner? Maybe you wanna readdress what you two consider “intimacy” with some new twists on partner poses! ahem. Spending this national holiday of love alone? ‘what’s with all this commercialized nonsense anyway? You can’t force me to buy into love!’ *deep breath*. Have no fear, there’s plenty to do! It is yoga after all and we know that “Yoga” is a four-letter word for finding union in the Self and looking INside for happiness and peace. (cue Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All”)
Whether you’re smitten with your sweetheart, seeking that special someone to support you in flying bow, or just wanting to open your heart for a sunnier disposition (and let’s face it, we could all use a sweeping of the cobwebs every so often!) head on over to our pals at elephantbeans for an extensive list of the heart throbbing goings on in NYC. Staying home? try this heart-opening sequence to get the ticker pumping.
Currently sitting on the heartbreak bus to Mopesville? Read below for Your Guide to Curing a Broken Heart with Yoga (courtesy of Yoga Rants and Raves, via fluidityyoga) followed by the traditional ♥ Valentine’s Yogini Martini™ recipe!
Curing a Broken Heart with Yoga
1. When you wake up in the morning and the first thing you feel is a sense of loss and directionless despair, get ye to the yoga studio. Welcome a sense of direction.
2. When dressing for yoga, be sure to wear your diamond earrings. Not the ones that s/he gave you. But the ones you won at the strip club when you were drowning your sorrows in unhealthy distractions. Now you feel desirable again. (Bonus: you’ve found a healthy distraction.) But do not wear makeup. That would be ridiculous.
3. When asked to state your intention at the beginning of yoga class, do NOT state this:“I wish to gain the ability through yoga to crush my ex with the psychic powers of my mind alone.”Instead chose this intention:“I wish to love and respect myself.”
4. When doing the chair pose, bend as deep as your legs will hold you.
Let the lactic acid build up in your thighs until you want to scream.
Realize there is a pain worse than a broken heart.
Don’t forget to breathe.
Don’t worry about breathing through your nose or mouth specifically.
Those restrictions are for the whole-hearted.
If you can continue long enough, you won’t die.
If you’re alive, then you are forced to accept that your heart isn’t actually broken.
It’s functioning as normal and the other stuff is just a figure of speech.
6. When given the choice between vinyasa and child’s pose, take child’s pose.
You deserve a rest.
But do not stay there for long.
You are better than that.
7. When in warrior’s pose, realize that you are a warrior.
Applaud your inner strength.
You are awesome.
Repeat your intention.
(The loving yourself one, not the other one.)
8. When the exercises are over, listen to the wise words of the yoga instructor.
Realize that everything she says about
having nothing to do or UNdo
not having anything missing in your life…
all that is true.
With or WITHOUT a romantic interest.
9. When in savasana (corpse pose), imagine your consciousness as a tranquil sea (perhaps resembling the set of Cirque de Soleil’s O).
When the sadness and regrets and anxieties rise up and distract you from the sea, imagine those thoughts as little flash-paper boats.
Set them sail, and just before they dip over the horizon, set them on fire and watch them flash and disappear.
Enjoy the tranquil sea.
10. At the closing, when you say “Namaste,” remember what that means:
That the divine in me salutes the divine in you.
Remember that you possess the divine, too.
11. Go forth in peace.
And do not check your cell phone until you’ve gone forth at least 30 yards from the yoga studio.
♥ Valentine’s Yogini Martini™ recipe…
– 2 ounces vanilla vodka (or light rum or brandy)
– 1 ounce chocolate liquor (Godiva’s an option)
– Splash of Creme de Cacao (dark)
Mix all ingredients in shaker with ice. Shake it up and pour. Garnish with cocoa and enjoy with some chocolate covered strawberries.
Variations: (soy/rice)milk can be added to make it creamy, or mix it up with Creme de Menthe for minty version or Kahlua for a coffee flavor.
*To make virgin – eat chocolate. YUM.
- Baba Ramdev: Valentine’s Day Should be “Marriage Day”
- [Because It’s Valentine’s Day!]: Partner Yoga and Other Mushy Stuff