I went to a mellow class today and was really getting into the flow of things. It was a new teacher, new sequencing and a very relaxing class, except for one thing: several interruptions from a fellow student panting like an obscene phone caller during poses. Now I know that people approach yoga from different places, but heavy breathing and grunting in a sorta sexual way was distracting to say the least. What’s next? Someone asking if my fridge is running during down dog? What advice do you give to fellow students of a hot and bothered yogi? Sincerely – Glad I was several mats away
Dear Glad I Was Several Mats Away –
Hot and bothered indeed. Is he cute? Just kidding! First of all so happy to hear you made it out with your innocence in tact! Sounds like the huff and puff yogi really needed to release some heavy inner demons. Unfortunately it’s at the expense of your quiet inner peace, and perhaps others’ as well. Although gruntmaster flex is difficult to ignore, especially if it sounds like you dialed into 1-900-KINKYOG, you might try tuning him out by listening to your own breath, or meditating on a word or phrase. Sure the growling and groaning can be distracting, perhaps even arousing(!), but maybe if you set the rhythm by audibly inhaling and exhaling deep long breaths you could soothe the virile fellow.
Next time you’re at class and spy the erotic fire breather, maybe set up your mat at the opposite end of the room. If it reaches the boiling point of utter class disruption it couldn’t hurt to politely mention to your teacher, who may then be inclined to weave in some extra cues to quiet the breath and distill the raunch. Perhaps down dog will have a little less of growl!
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