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Viral Yoga: Arj Barker, ‘Sickest Buddhist’ in the ‘Ass-shram’ Rap Parody, With Lyrics! [video]

in Because It's..., YD News, YogaHaha

Yoga’s so viral we’re gonna need a vaccine!

sickest-buddhist-arj-barker

Arj Barker (full name Arjun) has got your heap of piping hot ‘fashion Buddhist’ stereotypes on a platter. You’ll perhaps recognize him as the foul-mouthed ill relationship-advising friend of Bret and Jemaine on Flight of the Conchords.

A little more hip, as it were, than the Hippie Dippy Yoga Farmer, here is, the ‘Sickest Buddhist’ in all his krunk and kombucha glory. Enjoy! *maybe use headphones. NSFW*

UPDATE: For extra kicks we transcribed the whole rap! Check it out so you don’t miss anything.

‘Sickest Buddhist’ rap by Arj Barker

lady friend: hey baby where you at?

Arj: I’m still at the ass-shram.

lady friend: hows it going?

Arj: It’s going killer. the instructor just told us to do a 45 min meditation

lady friend: really?

Arj: I nailed it in 10!
lady friend: no way!

Arj: Owned! (ed. note: Om-ed?)

I’m the illest Buddhist you’ve seen
all the ladies wanna meditate with me
I look so serene when I bust a lotus
but i don’t have an ego so I wouldn’t even notice

I think of you before I think of myself
that’s probably why people think I’m so chill
But still I’m hell of intense
my clothes have little bells and they smell like incense

It’s so dope when I focus on my breath
cause I floss all the time and I chew big red
I don’t smoke weed but I burn sage by the pound
wave it all around til the air turns brown

I’m all krunked up on kombucha and juice
never heard of kama sutra? let me introduce
Step in to my hybrid we head over to my bed
64 positions I think you’re gonna like it

[CHORUS]

one hand clapping fuck that Yo more like the sound of a one-legged standing Ohh!
I’m blowin up the dharma like what! cause I’m the sickest Buddhist and I’m kickin Buddha butt
x2

I just went to the class for a laugh
maybe meet some chicks
but as it comes to pass
I kick ass at this pacifist shit.

Non-attachment I just mastered it
You don’t believe me? you don’t think I’m peaceful?
Step up to my face and say that bitch
I’ll non-attach your teeth from your lips

I practice compassion towards friends and enemies
but all these motherfuckers trying to hate on my serenity

[GIRLS]

hes’ so spiritual
so unmaterial
almost ethereal
eats organic cereal
his aura is so bright
his chakras are so tight
his energy is light
his hair is so right

he’s so sweet and Buddhist Unh

Is it my Indian roots
My Guatemalan pair of shoes
My extensive collection of expensive Tibetan flutes
I don’t know how or why I’m so zen
I make the power of now look like the power of then

To hell with Dr Phil, Oprah and Martha
I chill with Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra and Siddhartha
Buddha taught me to be humble and kind
But I’m so fuckin present I’m like ahead of my time

Enlightenment eludes most til they die
But i opened my third eye on my first try
Why? I don’t know I guess I’m just the bomb
When it comes to modesty I got it goin on

[CHORUS]

11 comments… add one

  • This has been my favorite music video ever…ever since I first saw it last night. But…alas, it’s been “removed by the user”…

  • Where did it go? Finally, a fabulous critique of the spiritual narcissism that is the ego-underbelly of the yoga “scene”. (Anyone been to a kirtan lately?) that hits the proverbial nail on the head, and now it’s GONE! Anyone know what happened to it?

  • hamsterpants

    You can still see it over on Vimeo…

    http://vimeo.com/3288510

  • I loved it, and didn’t know it’s been removed.

    One of the things I loved about it was that it was filmed at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, CA, where I finished a training just this year.

    “fabulous critique of the spiritual narcissism that is the ego-underbelly of the yoga “scene”. (Anyone been to a kirtan lately?) that hits the proverbial nail on the head”

    Church, yo! :)

    I wonder who got rid of the vid? Inquiring minds want to know!

  • admin

    the video lives on thanks to hamsterpants!!
    just for that, no judgment on the name ;) jk

  • Kai

    It’s been deleted everywhere, as far as I can tell (no longer on Vimeo either). I even did one of my legendary all-encompassing Google searches and *no one* had a copy anywhere. My spidey sense tells me that a bunch of humourless lawyers are to blame. Wonder what the story is?

  • BarkerFan

    A little birdy told me the video will be used on Arj’s new DVD which is coming out in Jan 2010.

  • ditto to that – got us attached types all hooked on the video then takes it away – either the Dalai Lama called and complained or he just wants to sell more albums down the line (and won’t it work?)
    Glad you captured the lyrics here so I could share with my buddhist friends…

  • Go 2 comedy central. Com, or jokes.com & YouTube – use “sickest bhuddhist” in the search field- & u will get the video in HD! I love this song – there are people out there that actually think eating organic cereal & driving a hybrid makes you zen! “it’s going killer – owned!” find me on FB omega souza :)

  • Anna

    Thanks for the lyrics, slight correction: at the beginning he says “ashram” and not assram. Also, it’s “Guatemalan parachutes” not pair of shoes.

  • dan leibert

    Love the video. I put it on my Facebook. I spent 10 years living at an Ashram and I never saw anyone quite like the Sickest Buddhist. But I have bits of him in a lot of people – people who are on a total ego trip with their spiritual seeking and using it to impress women. I also like the woman and women back up. Adds a lot to your clip.

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