Just when we thought Bikram was getting cold on us…ye old steamy one, master of Sweat and atomic balls rises from the desert! As if we hadn’t had enough proper Ferrari talk Captain Cocksure informs us of why we should disobey traffic laws, speed 200 mph down the freeway at 2am, and push the pedal to the metal, people! Or, in other words, he speaks to the Boston Globe about why you should practice his brand of yoga. (edited and condensed, dammit!)
Honestly, there’s nothing earth shattering in the few questions published (we’d love to see the unedited version). You know, just the typical Guru stuff: learned yoga at a very young age; has 35 Rolls-Royces and Bentleys; restores said luxury cars in his spare time and sells them for big bucks with Bikram seal of restoration; when questioned on materialism responds with a question, “Where is it written that a yogi is not supposed to have a car or a diamond wrist watch?”
But the biggest sweaty elephant in the room rewards us with this stunning analogy:
Q. Why the heat in Bikram yoga?
A. If you take a piece of steel to a blacksmith and say, “Make a knife,” what’s the first thing he’s going to do? I have to make the body supple, flexible. Ninety-seven percent of the body you never use. I give you an example. You have a Ferrari. Every day you drive to the office on Wilshire Boulevard only 15 miles an hour. Then you go back home. You never knew under the hood how much power the Ferrari has. If you want to enjoy a Ferrari at 2 o’clock at night you go to the highway. No traffic. No cops. Then you use 700 horsepower and you can drive 200 miles per hour. Why should you have a Ferrari and never drive it? The human body is a powerhouse.
Not a bad thought, we guess. Seek highest potential! But catching up with a current trainee over in the Palm Desert (bikramtt2009.blogspot.com), one of 328 this session, adding to over 6,600 teachers already trained, we have to wonder at what cost. So what’s under trainee Edwina’s hood? Blogging on week 5 she sounds pretty horsepowered out:
So, week 5 will henceforth officially be known as the week I did not have diarrhea. It has been much easier to keep my electrolytes in check without that complication. Ironically there is a downside. I am not kidding! Because I don’t have to pay extra special attention to my water intake due to the added complication (diarrhea is a complication right?), I have been less than diligent. Headaches have ensued as a reminder that 3 to 4 liters of water will not suffice.
(from a post just before the one above)…Another benefit is that I have learnt to focus, concentrate and mediate even through searing, stabbing or exploding pain.
Yikes! Diarrhea, headaches, searing and exploding pain? Ouch. We respect our fellow Bikramite pals, but suddenly we’re feeling just fine going that 5 miles over the speed limit to find our edge. Besides, we take our chances with the coppers every now and again. Actually, we’re probably just fine walking for now.
Back to Boston, Bikram took a short skip out on training and visited Beantown yesterday after a 9-year absence, returning with distinct humility of course: “Some places I haven’t gone (back to) in 20 years. Boston is lucky,” said Choudhury to the Boston Herald. “The whole world wants me. Some have been asking for 40 years.”
OK OK, we get it. Hot to trot. That’s enough of Bikram for today don’t you think? No? All right one more… “Nobody in the world has seen or saved more famous people than I have in the past 5,000 years.”
Here’s the part where we smile politely, and walk away.
A Yogi With Drive [Boston Globe]