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[Because It’s Tuesday!] Best Yoga ‘Don’ Bikram Quotes, Presented by YogaDawg

in Because It’s…, YD News

ilovebeergogglesYes, yes it’s also St. Patrick’s Day. Erin Go Braugh! You’re probably too bleary-eyed to be reading anything “serious” today, especially through those green beer goggles you’ve got on, eh? So it’s our pleasure to share with you a colorful collection, if you will, of quotes from everyone’s favorite Yoga ‘Don’ Bikram Choudhury, brought to you by intrepid yoga humorist YogaDawg. We were going to do a little green yogini martini, but figured you probably already have that part covered. Enjoy!

which one is your favorite? OR do you have your own wack Bikramisms to share? let us know in the comments.

The Yoga Don’s Best

An Iyengar class looks like a Santa Monica sex shop with all those props.

They make so many stupid things in America.

We are a totally fucked up society. What are they eating for breakfast on Jupiter?bikram-yogadon-choudhury-blacksuit

The whole Bikram class is one big brainwashing session.

I have balls like atom bombs, two of them, 100 megatons each.

Nobody fucks with me.

America’s biggest problem is too much freedom.

Western people can’t meditate. In India people really can’t meditate either.

When in Rome, I must do as the Romans do. When in America, copyright and trademark.

I’m feeling sleepy, because I haven’t gone shopping for a long time…. I haven’t bought a car for two years—no, I bought a car last month, the fancy new Chrysler.

I should be the most honored man in your country.

Don’t throw up on the carpet. It’s new.

Why are your legs spread? Women should not spread their legs any time, anywhere! Only in emergencies.

Downward Facing Dog? That’s not yoga. That’s American circus.

I control my kingdom like a gangster. It’s the only way it works. In America your biggest problem is you have a second choice. So you have an abuse of choices and too much freedom. It’s like a loaded gun in a kid’s hand

bikram-yogadon-choudhury-whitesuitHow many Rolls-Royce do I own? I don’t know. 35? I give every staff member of mine a car, something like a Jeep Cherokee. I have 17 vans.

American Yoga teachers are clowns. Circus clowns. They completely fucked yoga. They crucified hatha yoga in America. There is no yoga called kundalini, power, vinyasa, dog yoga.

Who the fuck is this YogaDawg? He’s the only guru in America besides me who is not a joke.

OK, that last one might not be real, but it might be one of our faves. Thanks YogaDawg!

6 comments… add one
  • sangos

    Patanjali should have added this guy somewhere in the sutras

  • Liz

    Some of my favorites

    “You can’t start a Toyota with a Cadillac key!”

    “I don’t understand how human beings eat in the daytime. You eat the food and then you’re falling asleep!”

    and the best of all time:
    “The most important thing in your life is…your life!”

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